I got really emo as i was leaving the house yesterday.

this old woman came up to me at the bus stop and gave some long sob story about how she no money to take bus although she desperately needs to go somewhere i was just like fuck lah okay fine and went to buy a drink so i could get coins to give it to her. and ended up giving her something like 4 dollars worth in 50c coins. 

she even went all the way to ask me to write down my number so she can return me the money. I mean fuck i already agreed to get conned, you don't have to make me look stupid doing it. but i was feeling nice and just played along.

so as i was waiting at the bus stop i tried to rationalize to myself. Like regardless of whether she uses it to buy cigarettes or whatever, i did it with the purest of intentions. That must mean karma points. She even said God Bless You, so maybe i can redeem discount at the next confession.

Me: oh yar, by the way father, i gave this woman $4

Priest: Very well, you get to do 2 less hail marys.

Then i started to realise that life is never as simple as that, nor anywhere near that easy. And life sucks because it takes and consumes it hardly gives out any freebies anymore. so why am i the only one who's giving out $4 to strangers on the street.